Memories,

I remember the first time we spoke:

It was one of the first days back in year nine, we were in our awesome summer uniforms - though I don't see how yours differed from the winter. It was geography, with that annoying South African teacher who always said my name in a really wrong way.
She had moved you next to me because I was a loner, and you needed straightening out. So, of course, I would influence you to be like me... A loner who didn't say much. Hah.
I remembered you from the previous year, when we both went to Bunbury High. You weren't mean to me back then, so I guessed I could tolerate you in my space.
You were talking about how many hot girls there were at Bunbury High, and how Lutheran seriously lacked them. All the while my small pile of self confidence was becoming smaller and smaller... One of the first things you ever said to me was 'Maybe if you grew your hair out, you'd have a better chance at getting a boyfriend' you'd pause and look around 'one that's not Fraser Lawrie'.
So that's my first memory of you, a rather painful one, if I recall correctly.

I couldn't help it, though. Talking to you that is. You always made me smile, and though you sometimes hurt my feelings, I knew it wasn't on purpose.
Even when it was really uncool to be associated with me, you'd always start of the day (and every lesson) with a huge 'WALLLEAAAAAAAA' a long hug would normally follow.
We talked about everything, I really didn't think you'd ever have it in you to pass on any of my secrets. And you didn't, which is good.
Do you still want to be in the Air Force?

I don't think you ever noticed that I liked you, or maybe you did. Maybe you knew all along and decided not to bring it up - so our friendship wouldn't be ruined.

I remember when I started going out with Dwight... I told you one day during Science. You looked rather shocked, and I liked it. But I only thought it was because you thought I couldn't get anyone.

We sort of drifted then, for a little while. Because of our 'no secrets' friendship it was kind of awkward when you asked about my love life. Hah.

I've blocked a lot of things out, so I can't really continue this trip down memory lane. But I just wanted you to know that it was good seeing you the other week, to know that you're happily in love and all.

Though it still hurts, I'm happy for you.

I was only ever the girl who you refused to pay compliments to, and I guess I'll learn to deal with that.

So yeah, there it is.
I liked you all along.
Joyous, yes?


Awkwardddd.